Hemingway's Torment

There is a time to end everything, isn't it, Mr. Great White Hunter?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EfMDwPXeIk

I love you, I love the way you twingle your naughty flock of golden mane, I love the way you sharpen your right eyebrow  when amused, frown when angry, and spread when wondered, I love the way you bite your lips when thinking, tighten them when angry, fill them out when horny, I love  the way you tilt your neck to the right when you see me reading the newspaper, when you embrace me in a passionate hug when I come back from work, squeeze me when I am at bed, caress me when I am lonely, I love it when you and I are alone at the shower, your slippery hands ventures across  the curves and crevices my open body, I love the odor that oozes from your lingerie, from the daring valley that lies in between your heavenly breasts, from the ocean of curls where I dive my nose to loose myself, from the tuna fish shop that only I know too well, from the pits of your arms that you shave five times each week, from your breath when you fill my existence with endless kiss, oh, you are only mine, mine and mine, your pair of lustrous lips that whispers in my ears in words that only you can say, and you wet my ears with the tip of your tongue that seems sharper than a blade, and when you put your hungry nipples inside my mouth and I see you quiver with ecstasy, the way your mouth opens up when I give it a tickle, when I put my finger into your bellybutton and watch you giggle when I do a whirl, oh how you take me into places that only you can take,, I love you more than anything, my mother, more than anything in the world. 

"I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been."

TORMENT

Fear, I feel

The world crushing down on me

Stones after stones

God, I’m so afraid

My heart wants to leap out, my conscience my nerve my blood

Boils and trembles in a violent orgy

Ha ha ha ha I am dying ha ha ha ha

Ha ha ha ha I am crying ha ha ha ha

I wanna jerk off, my intestines feel heavy

They ache, they ache and dance

Please somebody help me

I am alive over here, why I am

Still alive?

The sky, the sky, the sky, look at it!

It’s so fucked up, so bright…why?

My sky….

Somebody help me…..my sky!

Oblivion

Hey, do you know…

I

Die every day? Huh?

And

In the early morning clouds, I rise from my graves…

Once again

I scream from beyond the mirrors

Bleeding my fist against the unbreakables

Days and decades swim by…

And I cry

Salty droplets of shattered dreams

Crawl out of my eyes, endless…

Was it like this everytime?

Yes, I guess

It was

Ahh I feel,

My soul shuddering underneath…

Fluttering helpless…

Like hummingbird wings

Thousand swords of an ancient lore

Trembling over my heart

Monsters and demons prowling in hordes

Underneath dark dunes…

Run, run, I tell myself…

But my feet…they sink somewhere

Dark and sweaty

I swallow, but its only air

Like a bubble of fear bouncing up – down

It hurts, like sleeping over a sawblade

Gnawing away my flesh

In chunks

Wrapped in a concrete coffin

I stroll around Disneyland

Happy, so happy…

Everybody is!

Like a great butcherplace this world is…

All those meat, fresh n bouncy

Hanging around, so happy they are!

My brain turns into

Molten lead

Somehow numb I become

Slow

At my feet, I see

Inches away, the endless doom awaits

The oblivion awaits.